Satiric news organization does it again!

You may remember when Congressman John Fleming of Louisiana took this article about Planned Parenthood a little too seriously and posted it on his Facebook page a couple of weeks back.

Well, it’s happened again. Hakim* is a news buff. He usually stays at his desk during our mid-class break and watches news reports (in both English and Arabic) on his phone. Yesterday, he showed me what he was watching (WARNING: If you are at work, if you’re with a small child or your grandmother, or if you are offended by crude language, you probably shouldn’t click on this link!). Yikes! I told him it wasn’t real, it’s a joke, it’s supposed to be funny, but I’m not sure he believed me. It’s not often that I wish my students had smaller vocabularies, but I really hope he doesn’t know what a slut is.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Conundrum

I have held a professional job for the past five years. Over this time, I’ve built up a wardrobe of rather boring and conservative work-appropriate clothes. Given that it’s wintertime, I’m usually covered from my neck to my ankles these days… at least while I’m sitting at my desk. When I’m teaching, I’m standing and I raise my arms a lot (to point to my hair when reviewing vocabulary for body parts, to write on the whiteboard, when I say “raise your hand if…”, etc.). When I raise my arms, ALL of my tops (I may or may not have tried a few on just to prove my point) have a tendency to rise up too, exposing a sliver of flesh above my pants. According to some, this is inappropriate and unprofessional. What should I do about it? Here are some options I’ve come up with:

1. Nothing. This is America. Nudity is everywhere. Students will have to get used to it sooner or later. 
2. Keep one hand hovering around my waist at all times to block unseemly flesh flashes and constantly tug my shirt back down. 
3. Invest in some tee-shirt extenders. These are usually marketed for pregnant women, but I suppose they would get the job done. 
4. Break the bank and immediately replace my wardrobe with tunics, overalls, jumpers, dresses, and seriously high-waisted pants. 
5. Safety pins, safety pins, and more safety pins. 
6. Never raise my arms again.

Do you have any suggestions? I’d love to hear them.

Things that are hard - Part I

1. Communicating cultural differences. 

In the US, it is generally considered rude to snap your fingers to get someone’s attention. Additionally, Americans tend to like their names and usually prefer them to “teacher”. Here, when you arrive late, you typically try to sneak in as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You do not, for example, knock on the door, open it, greet the teacher (and expect a response), take a seat, then ask to be caught up on what you missed. In the US, if your cell phone rings during class, you try to silence it at once. If you must, you might opt to sneak out as quietly and inconspicuously as possible to take the call. You do not, for example, allow the phone to continue ringing, then interrupt class to ask permission to take the call, then, when you’re done, knock on the door, open it, greet the teacher, take a seat, then ask to be filled in on what you missed… I may be exaggerating just a bit, but the point is, cultural differences are hard to deal with. And it’s hard to communicate them because we’re not coming from the same perspective - What is seen as a sign of respect (e.g. “teacher”, knocking on the door, etc.) in some places is not interpreted the same way in this culture. Likewise, things that are very disrespectful here (e.g. snapping), are not at all ill-mannered elsewhere. It’s hard because they can be annoying and lead to misunderstandings. It’s hard because explaining the differences takes up class time. And it’s hard because old habits die hard. But, I also think it is SO important to do. After all, these students are learning English because they want to attend American universities. If they are to succeed, they not only need to learn the language, but also what will be expected of them as a student.

2. Using the textbook without having class be totally boring.

In addition to being ugly, “Easy True Stories: A Picture-based Beginning Reader”, is VERY formulaic. Every chapter begins with a series of nine line drawings illustrating scenes from the reading. The reading itself comes next, followed by a vocabulary exercise. So far I’ve seen two options for these, either “Match the word to the picture,” or “Write the opposites.” Following this are two comprehension exercises, then a discussion prompt. Every unit ends with a writing activity. The discussion and writing activities are all pretty lame. The stories themselves are okay for the most part, and the comprehension activities are a quick way to gauge what’s sinking in, but doing exactly the same activities in exactly the same order every single class would quickly become stale. It’s been a challenge to come up with fun, interactive, level-appropriate activities that complement the readings in the book. Perhaps I’ll share some of my lesson plans and the materials I’ve developed at some point.

3. Having to define “rock” on the spot.

Some things are so concrete and have been in my vocabulary for so long that I’ve never even thought of defining them. The online Merriam-Webster Learners Dictionary tells me that a rock is, “the hard, solid material that the surface of the Earth is made of.” Good to know.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Today’s reading was about a woman who was driving with a cat on top of her car. Another guy on the road spotted the cat and tried to tip her off. She freaked out when she noticed he was following her. She turned left, and she turned right, but she couldn’t shake the creep, so she drove to the police station. An officer told her about the cat and suddenly the man seemed less of a villain.

It’s interesting to think about the cultural appropriateness of this story. Most of the students are learning English so that they can attend an American university, but Yousef* is a little bit older and already has a career as a math teacher. He is here chaperoning a cohort of Saudi women. By “chaperoning”, I mean he accompanies them EVERYWHERE they go. He actually didn’t come to class today, but I kept wondering what he would think of this woman, driving alone (well, besides the cat), being followed by a strange man.

I think I mentioned that I would be teaching for the first half of class today. Well, I did and it went pretty well. Here are some highlights:

• The Good: I managed the heck out of the time. This is something I tend to struggle with, so it is a success I’m particularly proud of. 

• The Bad (well, not bad exactly, just not fantastic): I designed a cloze activity for the students to do with a partner. I found a stylized local map online that included key buildings and landmarks, and indicated a starting location. Then for half the class, I whited out a few place names. I whited out a few different place names for the other half of the class. Students with mismatched maps were to pair up and practice giving each other directions. Once they knew where a certain place was, they were to fill in the missing place names on their maps. 

• I was hoping it would be communicative. It was. They talked. They exchanged information. This was good.

• I was hoping it would be challenging. It was. They had to use English for an extended period of time. They had to listen and pronounce things carefully (one pair got hung up on a misunderstanding of “straight” as “street”). They had to use new vocabulary and grammatical structures. The trouble was, understanding what they were supposed to be doing was also a HUGE challenge. And it took a looooooooong time. Even after several different attempts on my part, some of them were completely in the dark until their more astute classmates clued them in in Arabic. 

• I was hoping it would be relevant. I used a local map. I thought they might learn something about their new city. Mustafa* took one look at the map and exclaimed, “What is this?!?!” “It’s a map,” I said. “But everyone have GPS,” he countered. “I don’t.” “Everyone have iPhone!” “I don’t. I use a map.” He gave me a look of utter incredulity and said, “I buy you iPhone tomorrow.” 

• The Ugly: I didn’t call on all the students equally. Samir* was particularly left out. He doesn’t often volunteer answers in class, and I didn’t  solicit his participation much… because I forgot his name.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.